Perceptions

When I'm honest w/ myself & do a self-evaluation, I see that I still have a long way to go as I aspire to be a christian. One of the performers was Derek Webb (formerly Caedmon's Call member). He made a comment about one of his albums having "a whole lot less cussing on it". This isn't a Jody thing, but I was brought up that christians didn't cuss--a preconception.

Over the last year or so, my lists of "do's" and "don'ts" for what a christian has come under attack...by me. If I am to truly find out who God is, then it is up to me to do things differently. I've always enjoyed heavy rock music since I was a teenager. My brother-in-law, Brent, got me started back when he was dating my sister in high school. Listening to Motley Crue or AC/DC in his little white Nissan was always cool for a skinny little white dude w/ no apparent athletic ability; however, I'm a christian & not supposed to listen to that music. So, I made the comment that I wasn't listening to the words. I jusr really enjoyed the music. I tried to keep the fact that I enjoyed "secular" music not necessarily a secret but not in plain sight or flaunt it.

Funny how the majority of christian artists are influenced by non-christian artists.

See, this is how my thoughts ramble...that's not really the big thing on my mind.

I know I'm not supposed to worry, but as I'm on this quest to know God more, I wonder if I'm leaving Amy out of my little quest. When you have led side-by-side lives for so long w/out realizing you're not living life together, you have to learn how to live the correct life.

Amy & I have haven't truly experienced a loss of something tangible that we held in our hands. What we have felt is the dreams that we've had for ourselves either crushed or compromised to the point of having a hollow feeling when we were finally able to experience them. When you get beat up for so long, superstitiously, you don't won't to talk about it because you don't want to get your hopes up or let someone else in on it.

I'm in Baton Rouge tonight through Thursday afternoon. Thursdays have a special meaning for me when I'm on the road nowadays. When I get home, I love to see the kids react to me being home and the smiles & squeals that I hear. It's nice to be wanted. Later on, I look forward to our Missional Community gatherings over @ the Raymers. It's a time when I can learn more about the man that God wants me to be and to ask questions w/out people judging me...too much...